1. |
TAIPEI
02:10
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thought your boys had a hold of us
we ain’t cool like you in the corridors
cooped up in the spot ‘cause we had a long day
tell them boys “kiss ass like your partner does”
told me “hey, take a break,” dunno what you meaning
got grind on my mind like a baby teething
showing up to the club but we probably seen it
had xi in my name probably call it treason, hey
bitch imma be depressed cuz i’m so low, so low
trippy hours in my room like i’m loco loco
small circle of my homies like dippin dots
stop talking to my kid or i’ll call the cops
friends turned their backs on me in my high school
had some issues with my mama in my house though
so conflicted ‘bout my life, so i hit the joint
indecisive ‘bout my friend, so i flipped a coin
ay, tryna be the 好先生
thought it really worked, 好天真
天天錄音是否太認真？
時間過得真的慢吞吞
seven days across the world with the north coast sundown
waiting for replies
girls ghost for a month now
wonder if it is and i wonder if it isn’t
tried to open up
no one ever fucking listens
sweat dripping down my forehead
them boys like to talk while i get the bread
long walks in the california sunset
got voices in my head trying to kill me dead
lot of guilt for the world on my mind, man
see kids smile big, wonder why i can’t
dive deep in the sea, watch the sun dance
probably left my soul in my motherland, yeah
and it’s my own kind of way to say the words i wanna say
i left my soul in taipei
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2. |
SUNNYVALE [REMIX]
03:00
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(mccockinner, what kind of name is that?)
(verse 1: henry)
vintage of 1506, mixed with the spirit of instant new englandists:
just add water!
preferably the atlantic beneath the mayflower
complete with history sprouted from gunpowder
’tis a most beautiful flower, never mind the mud it’s sprung from
find the light, the lamp is not sun, once it’s done it can’t be undone
opening eyes, an inevitability, ludovico technique, never a necessity
spotting emmett on the forehead, burgess etched in 21st, written in acetylene
going insane or seeing the light?
nadsat double speak, get in a fight
torn deltoid, fed a factoid, you can only tend to what you do
peterson taught that everything about you is the product of a desecrated moral code
not one damn man stands undone by someone but one’s own ego
but lidocaine is just localized, you can’t spread the flame to get unionized
demonize the demons and leave the people to slay goliath
wait for the tide, oh, it’s starting to climb
the time has come, noah getting us baptized
(verse 2: kai)
oversaturated, got my mind racing
some toadstools: that’s mind poison
i’m corner-grabbing, i’m brother-chasing
saw mom and dad get discriminated for their accent, for their asian boys
i’m attention craving, got our names taken
been trailblazing at train stations since i could make simple calculations
yeah, fuck the asians, yeah, kill em all, this coronavirus shit is all their fault
yeah, we run wild with no mask on, don’t be critical, we just break the law
come, come, yeah, i got yellow skin, come kill my ass, come shoot up the mall
i’ve been standing tall, i’m still poppin off
y’all belong to god, man, fuck the law
(kai & anna paaske)
so i’ll stay awake for now
(bridge: orangeben)
so good at growing up
you’re so good at growing up
i forgot just what i need
hold my breath under the flood
can’t keep faking i’m above
it’s just not enough for me
present and past tense
resented my last chance
let my hair grow long ‘till they f-
(bk & kai)
bk: this is your pilot speaking, hope you’ve had a comfortable journey -
kai: two, three, four
(verse 3: bk)
look proud that we fly high, this pilot’s on auto
i jettisoned away all my dreams of tomorrow
spending lazy summer sunsets in a civic cockpit
we alienate till this basic blood acidic
like ethics of Elon and Machiavellian economics
kenky talking semiotics on my rooftop with the semiautomatic
this form of civil discourse is strictly for whoresons in law enforcement
shit man, i’ve died before, i’m a reborn force of spirit in a bottomless pit of silica,
the valley of the dead and the fake deep
where they’re geared to adhere to the green so i freaked it
echoes of voices ringing for justice
kids search for truth in a trip
in indigo poppy fields still left unpicked
on the shores of a great melodic sea
to be a harmony in that sweet monotony
that you call infinity
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3. |
CUPERTINO
03:18
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i can’t sleep when you’re not around so i’ll stay awake for now
and i can’t breathe when i feel surrounded
i tried to make a sound
yeah, lived life on the west side
parents tryna give the best life
classmates were all genius
education like gold mines
math ii, got 800
physics c, got 800
japanese, got 800
so stressed i became nothing
all my friends got tiger moms
got bs, there’s something wrong
eight hours on piano
all things i was counting on
cornell was a target school, bu just a late backup
every home’s got a million dollars;
kids locked in straitjackets
gotta thank my mom & dad
they let me chase my art dreams
if i had some different parents i’d probably be learning some stem things
didn’t feel my emotions
grew up in a different culture
had to deal with my depression all alone with my school numbers
kids at nearby high schools jumping out in front of trains
had to lock their notes app just to hide their growing pains
parents look through their iphones
see texts they don’t like
track down the recipient
traumatize for a life
and you don’t know the pain
you wouldn’t understand when every imperfection made my heart race
and every single day my friends would live in fear
and any imperfection made their heart race
look
some days i could just wish that people lowered their expectations
i got homies so damn distressed i don’t even wanna see their faces
they don’t wanna go back home, no
daddy ain’t ever gonna side with ya
mommy got lungs by the boatload
yelling bout “never be proud of ya”
everyone’s son be prodigal
look left, look right
see prada girls
anxiety fueled the competition
yeah, trust me, grades gonna rock your world
people ain’t gonna slow down for ya
running from their own fears
paradise in the drugs
coming out all blazed with real ass tears
better add your mommy on find my friends kiddo
can’t hang with none of your friends kiddo
look at my online friend’s kiddo
he’s making that family Ms, kiddo
friends don’t ever reply to me
feel sad?
well that’s a bit wild of me
got a lot of guilt inside of me so i ain’t gonna rest my case
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4. |
PRAGUE
02:42
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you know, it really feels like sometimes i’m alone
there’s no one out here
i pray you hear me
now don’t give up dear, tell me you won’t
and the fears caught up to us
but the sky’s still infinite where dreams keep falling from
i’m crying in my sleep
i wake up with the answers and lose them in a blink
in the silence, you could be anything
and nothing is forever what you think it’ll be
you can’t hide from yourself
i’ll stay strong for me
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5. |
BOSTON
03:34
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mccockinner, what kind of name is that?
east coast represent asian superman
city life be tripping on some sodom and gomorrah shit
pastor got warn that shit
sodium chloride system gon’ destroy that bitch
husky employed by rich
but they can’t promise pay
everybody gone, running back home to their honest days
every time you gon’ listen, envision this rapper dishing hits
sickening illiterate bitches gon’ drop jaws at this mnemonic plague
bowflex my rage in a minute
olsen twins, give me back my estate
suspense, hit gas at the limit
take the L, shawty, replay mistake
oh, i done date myself, yeah motherfucker gon’ hate himself, fakin’ self
no motherfucker gon’ take my wealth: obligatory trophy, put it on your shelf
this is reinvention
the bitter winter consider the weak for dinner
a literal feast-a-fool
the mass has submitted a lamb to slaughter
but all they really want is a martyr
what’s your starter?
yeah, suffering is only my religion
i don’t need nobody judging my admission
got me exiled in front of my decisions
i’m eleven-loving
that’s mad bitchin’
someone told me i’ve been insufficient
killer boy, you mad trippin’
charge a credit, that’s power movin’
cuz i know how much you love electrocution
that’s payback for the way that you gave that pain back
but i came back with great rap
fake laugh for the fake crap you laid
that same lad’s on the way back with straight facts
same past but it’s a different future
train tracks to a new conclusion
architect to my self-oppression
insecurity is still self-abusing
heavy-hand guilt
boy, that’s a big no-no
yellow my skin
man that’s a good color
never got help
i’m alone first-guessing
yeah, imma go ham man, imma go solo
interstate 90, i’m about to get to stressing
went to the class and i learned my lesson
booked a new flight, but i still ain’t check in
yeah, double check down but it’s still incessant
ooh, i’ve been falling like a raindrop
you took the shot and it paid off
tell me what you rue
regret won’t save me now
ooh, regret won’t s-
thought your boys had a hold of us
i ain’t cool like you in the corridors
cooped up in the spot cuz we had a long day
tell the u “kiss ass like your partner does”
told me, “hey, stay in school”
but i wanna leave
i just want mom and dad to be proud of me
showing up to the class
don’t know who to please
got dreams in my brain, that’s a part of me, yeah
take me away with ya
call me to wake me up
i could be so in touch, i could be so in love
acres of haze and dust
raging insomnia
praying in mania
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6. |
LOS ANGELES
02:59
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they say they don’t know the name
they won’t talk about me
if living is a game, i’ve been losing my lead
only dancing in the rain ‘till somebody loves me
a summer in the haze, slowly burning that green, yeah
sunsets in the limelight
inescapable desires rule my life
oceans burn in moonlight
i’ve been sleeping with my issues
in the end, i guess i miss you
in the end, i guess i miss you
slowly sinking in my rearview
you can find me in the star store
wishful thinking that it’s all for the better
i got lost for a picture on the carpet
wonder what has happened to me
i used to look up at the stars
now they’re coming for me
and i’ve been buried in a dream too distant to reach
so all the things i should be worried about don’t matter to me, yeah
look at the streams
look at the green painted with aerosol
losing sleep in a heap like i’m brainwashed
cuz i’ve been selling my soul for nothing more than a chorus
all these letters to juliet
i don’t wanna lose me yet to handsomest silence
silence in the headlights, now it’s past time
i’ve never felt so far away
i let my teardrops fall to waste so you won’t come home to me
so you won’t come home to say, “don’t you sell your life”
“you won’t make the night”
“no one’s sold lies forever”
it’s all i am and all i was
euphoria inside my words
with every chord i bring to life
a part of me will die inside
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7. |
INDIGO
05:08
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follow the sound of my voice
i’ll be up here if you want to join
come back to me, my love
together again
just up above
and i can see your heart pouring into the stars
joining me somewhere
and you don’t have to cry for what used to be ours
you’ll find that it’s fine now
watching you shine now
and you wouldn’t know but i’ve been alone
chasing the sunset out in the cold
and if i were honest
if you could come home then i could be drowning in indigo
eyes wide open, i’ve made it to five nights sober
stare at the sky from the top of your roof
i found out i’ve moved on
it’s over now
in conversation with myself
i realized i need to know
i’m moving on from indigo
so white me out, i’ll leave this place
i’m strong enough to see your face
so you could be my satellite
and i’m surprised i’m still alive
i’ve been looking towards the sky wishing i could shine as bright
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8. |
VIOLET
03:52
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this isn’t what i thought i’d feel like with you already gone for ages
an ocean far behind and i can’t pull you through, what have i done?
drowning fast, violet divides me
and i can’t feel the same without your purpose
so let’s be honest about it
cause you keep crying, “no, i can’t let go”
the makeup on your heart, but still it shows:
you wake up and you wish you never woke
and i can’t save you cuz fuck it, all i do is lose hope
cuz fuck it all i do is lose hope
if you’re looking for infinity, just close your eyes
but everything will be okay
just keep on doing what you’re doing, take it day to day
and any pain is temporary, bro, don’t lose hope
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9. |
BLACK
03:30
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all black on my wrist like i’m handcuffed
blow cash out like six different mansions
pop a cap in your dome, graduation
i don’t rap, i’m a pop sensation
i don’t fuck with you, you should know, bitch
take your friends home and your hoe bitch
you can fuck around, i’m okay with it
fuck anyone, moan my name bitch
praise the lord jesus christ
i’m a loyal man, i’m a fright
you repulse me, make my stummy hurt
get iced boy, that’s on you sir
praise the lord jesus christ
i’ve been praying for my dawgs every night
i’ll be born when i die
you can sell everything on my hard drive
that’s the feeling that i run from in the sunlight
come in pieces with my arms drooped and my head light
in perplexion at my rearview when i take sight
got confessions for the booth, boy, get me inside, yeah
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10. |
SUNNYVALE
02:49
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look proud that we flying
look proud that your homeboys left me out
ooh, why you fucking lying?
don’t drink cuz we have to beat the drought
look proud that we flying
look proud that we flying
ooh, why you fucking lying?
look proud that we flying
young genius
two peas in a pot
two brothers run amok
pee in a pot, ay
mom down
don’t tickle me
this sunnyvale turn of the century
learned my numbers before i could walk
got my yellow blankie
and baby blue socks
little einstein on the television
got the memo on a secret mission
killing bad guys with my lightsaber
drawing comic books on some lined paper
need to sugarcoat; call me sensitive
wished my own dad was the president
small turtle-shaped sandbox in the yard
long summer days and safeway cards
grandparents over from taipei
grass is always browner in the south bay
oversaturated
got my mind racing
some toadstools, that’s mind poison
i’m corner-grabbin’, i’m brother-chasin’
saw mom and dad get discriminated for their accent
for their asian boys
i’m attention-craving
got our names taken
been trailblazing at train stations since i could make simple calculations
that’s complicated
growing up with my brother with asd
funny looks in public when we out
how much more difficult could this be?
that’s why i’m so dejected
feeling so neglected
wanna take this stigma out
no one’s ever gonna say to me, “that’s so retarded”
don’t say “autistic” for the love of god
imma throw
look, that’s fucked up
you don’t wanna fuck with me
imma pop, pop
look, that’s family love
don’t wanna catch hands, don’t fuck with us, ay
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11. |
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